Under Whom Would You Serve?

We’ve all imagined it: living in a futuristic science fiction universe. Replicators. Holodecks. Phasers. And that’s just from Star Trek. Other universes bring light sabers, subspace travel, androids, and aliens. Oh so many aliens! And, we wouldn’t want to be stuck on some random planet. No! We want to live on a ship and travel from place to place. And hide behind the big guns and shields when necessary.

But in many of these universes, the ships are run by the political entities that can afford to build them. Starfleet. The Colonies. Earthforce. While in others, crews scramble to find what’s left over, or they steal their ships.

So, which would you rather serve on? A large ship-of-the-line that is the toughest 800-pound gorilla in a firefight? To walk those decks, you’ve got to enlist and follow the chain of command, like it or not. Or, would you prefer a small, my-crew-is-my-family vessel, where running out of gas or being caught by the authorities is a constant threat. But you can go where you want when you want?

And, depending on your choice, under what type of captain would you want to serve?

I looked at a bunch of science fiction shows and pulled lists of their captains. For simplicity, I didn't include any Captains that flew without crews, either alone like Din Djarin (The Mandalorian) or with a buddy like Han Solo and Chewbacca (Star Wars).

I split the remaining captains into the two categories of ships and then ranked them based primarily based on their traits. Are they fair? Temperamental? Quick to act? Basically, would I want to follow them. As much as I tried to focus on just their characteristics, I will admit that the situations of their universes also played into my ranking. As much as I admire Commander Adama in Battlestar Galactica (the Edward James Olmos version, not the Lorne Greene version), being chased to extinction by cylons does not sound like fun. But if they let me fly a viper…

Here’s my ranking for Captains of large, ships-of-the-line:

1. Christopher Pike, Captain of the Enterprise (Strange New Worlds) - I would probably follow this guy for the coiffed hair alone, but he is loyal, righteous, and reasonable.

   
   

2. Jean-Luc Picard, Captain of the Enterprise (Star Trek – The Next Generation) - Also a strong moral compass, he seems to encourage the arts on board.

   
   

3. John Sheridan, Captain of Babylon 5 (Babylon 5) - This guy gives pep talks that rival Steve Rogers. Fiery and righteous, but a little prone to bucking authority.

   
   

4. William Adama, Commander of the Galactica (Battlestar Galactica) - The most pragmatic of the bunch, Adama does his best to protect his crew and ship with always problematic resources. He does have a bit of a military vs. civilian mindset, but if you're in the military under his command, you're golden.

   
   

5. Katheryn Janeway, Captain of Voyager (Star Trek Voyager) - Smart and righteous, she is somewhat prone to making an occasional bad decision like putting Neelix in charge of food.

   
   

6. James Kirk, Captain of the Enterprise (Star Trek) - The swashbuckling type, it might not always be clear whether he's protecting the ship or trying to get laid.

   
   

7. Ed Mercer, Captain of the Orville (The Orville) - Definitely willing to take risks and is loyal to his crew, he is a bit unsure of himself. If Kelly Grayson (his first officer) was actually in charge, she'd be higher up this list.

   
   

8. Jeffrey Sinclair, Commander of Babylon 5 (Babylon 5) - Also a smart cookie, he is thoroughly even-keeled, not letting even the most dire of situations rankle him. But sometimes you need that fire in your leader.

   
   

9. Carol Freeman, Captain of the Cerritos (Lower Decks) - Other than her penchant for having the inmates run the asylum, she seems pretty low key.

   
   

10. Dylan Hunt, Captain of the Andromeda (Andromeda) - This guy is righteous on the brink of being a zealot. He needs to chill the hell out. Helluva ship, though.

    
    

11. Benjamin Sisko, Captain of Deep Space 9 (Deep Space 9) - Sisko spends way too much time dealing with other people's problems, like being the "prophet" for the entire Bajoran race, instead of running the station. Thank goodness DS9 has Major Kira to keep things running.

    
    

12. Jonathan Archer, Captain of the Enterprise (Enterprise) - A good guy but seemingly totally out of his depth. Show some backbone, sir!

    
    

13. Michael Burnham, Captain of the Discovery (Star Trek Discovery) - The embodiment of a guilt trip as Captain. She has so much other stuff on her mind (her demotion, her mother, then her boyfriend) that she hardly has time to be captain at all.

    
    

14. Fred Johnson, Administrator of Tycho Station (Expanse) - Ruthless and loyal, as long as it's in his interest to be so. He gets shit done and is not above strong-arming a client or threatening his own staff to get there.

    
    

15. Helena Cain, Admiral of the Pegasus (Battlestar Galactica) - Get with the program or get in the brig. No fucking around on this ship.

    
    

16. Firmus Piett, Admiral of the Executor (Star Wars) - This guy tried his best, but was always one screw-up away from a death choke, and he acted like it. Until he was choked to death.

And for Captains of the smaller, less law-abiding ships:

1. Maureen Robinson, Captain of the Jupiter 2 (Lost in Space) - Calm and compassionate, and a freaking genius in about every category of engineering.

   
   

2. Malcolm Reynolds, Captain of the Serenity (Firefly) - Plucky with a good sense of humor, like in hiring Jayne, but willing to do something illegal in order to do something right.

   
   

3. Portia Lin, Captain of the Raza (Dark Matter) - Calm and collected under pressure, she gets input then makes her decision. And she protects her crew, even if they are a bunch of criminals.

   
   

4. Jet Black, Captain of the Bebop (Cowboy Bebop) - His past as a police officer definitely influences his decision making, but he's always in for hitting steak night.

   
   

5. Yalena “Dutch” Yardeen, Captain of Lucy (Killjoys) - Smart and loyal, she brings in the work that gets everyone paid. But being raised as an assassin certainly has left her with issues.

   
   

6. James Holden, Captain of the Rocinante (The Expanse) - Too good for his own good, he's loyal and righteous even if he is occasionally out-voted. Actually, isn't that a mutiny?

   
   

7. Camina Drummer, Captain of the Dewalt (The Expanse) - She takes no shit and protects her own, so you're either in her circle or out of it. Unfortunately, if you're in it, you're also running shit missions for the OPA.

   
   

8. John Crichton, Captain (of sorts) of Moya (Farscape) - A wishy-washy wanker who regularly whines about his situation and getting back to Earth. Just suck it up, dude.

   
   

Who would you rather ship out with? What captains did I miss? Let me know in the comments.